[IC: Forward dated to Saturday 19 May]

[julienned]

[YEAH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU GUYS ARE IN HERE. it's a comatose teenager hooked up to a bunch of machines.

it's really boring.] 

Comments

[julienned]

Stop. Stop please. I get it. Just — just stop it!

[mind_over_metal]

*quickly takes stock of the level of how overwhelmed by himself Julian is right now -- and pushes against the construct of desolation that Julian had built for himself in his mindscape. he's not dismantling it himself, as parts of it are very much real and thoroughly entangled with everything that has been built up by Julian for protection and out of desperation and because there was only so much even he could take before damage was done, even though it's as much an obstruction as anything that might have been built by an aggressive hostile telepath. it's like lifting a heavy object so that another person is able to adjust something underneath. his mental voice is firm but gentle, as if it were an offered hand.*

This is you. That's all that this is.

Come back to us. Please.

[julienned]

I don't want to be here! I just don't know what to do! I can't keep fighting her and I can't stay here and I don't know what I can do!

[he looks away but it's pretty clear he's near to tears.]

Dammit...!

[mind_over_metal]

*materializes again as a walking projection of himself, though on a mental level, he's still lifting that weight, the strain palpable as a slight trembling of effort*

You have it, Hellion. In your rightful joy and pride for who you are. In your friends, who love you not just when you're the only ones left and have no one else, but on a day that's how normal days should be, when there's nothing of importance, nothing that would bring you together except for yourselves. In the amazing things that you can do. That you can have in your life. You've had them and you've seen them just now, you know that they're there. But they're not here. You need to win them back, restore them to their proper place.

Perhaps not right now. Maybe you're not ready. And I promise that, until the day that I am forcibly torn from your side, I won't leave you here. And probably not even then. I'm rather notoriously difficult to be rid of.

But I believe that you can. Not everything right now. But the first step. I know that you can do it. Reach for it.

[julienned]

[he takes a breath, and then takes the weight off Charles.]

Give that here. You're not made for that kind of weight. You've got me all wrong though. I'm not afraid. I'm not the one doing this. This isn't me! This is what someone has done to me, she's still out there and I can guarantee you that you won't believe me. I don't even know if you're real or whether I'm imagining you.

[mind_over_metal]

I could make you believe me. But...

*refuses to let him take it all back*

You don't have to carry it alone.

The ground that we're standing on right now. What is it? What's supporting you?

[julienned]

[he shrugs]

I don't know. I don't know how my powers work. They just do.

[mind_over_metal]

This isn't about your powers.

*crouches down, pressing a palm flat against the ground beneath them, eyes closing in concentration, as he reaches deeper, beyond what the ground appears to be, to what it actually is*

[julienned]

This is the lamest Care Bears episode ever.

[mind_over_metal]

That reference is beyond me, I'm afraid.

*continues to push mentally*

You're already helping me, even if you don't consciously know it. I can feel it. Come on. Come on.

[julienned]

[it's his friends! congrats, charles you have learned that the x-kids are codependent as hell.]

Like I said. Friendship and all that crap.

[mind_over_metal]

*well, that's nothing new. but it helps Charles to draw the bright spot of Julian's friends closer to this, where they are now, connecting the two*

You'd said your powers. This is something quite different.

*and if he'd been lifting from above before, now he's pushing from below, shoring up the support*

[julienned]

Stop. Before you finish there is something I need you to do.

[mind_over_metal]

What is it?

[julienned]

I need a way to lift the blocks on my powers, if I need to. And then I need a way to put them back down again.

[mind_over_metal]

Have you ever used your powers at full force before?

[julienned]

Yes. Once. I know what I'm asking.

[mind_over_metal]

Who created the blocks?

[julienned]

First time around? Me.

[mind_over_metal]

And then?

[julienned]

I don't remember. I blacked out.

[mind_over_metal]

*nods*

Reach for your powers.

[julienned]

[he does so. quite literally. look some of us need crutches.]

[mind_over_metal]

*he slides onto the pathway of his power, tracing his way deeper, searching for any barriers or bindings*

[julienned]

[he twitches.]

Damn, that feels weird.

[but yes, there's some, and there's a sizeable reservoir of power underneath. i'm sorry charles, this kid is scary powerful, even more so than he has any comprehension.]