julienned | (no subject)

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(no subject)

[this is for all of your "yelling at Julian Keller for getting stabbed with a machete by a twelve year old girl" threads]

[aka he is in Bruce's hobo shack with like medical equipment and stuff hanging off him and really wants to be elsewhere. And that's before anyone else comes and yells at him!]

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What would I want to yell at you for? Getting stabbed? That's practically in the job description for being a mutant.

Unless you did something to warrant getting stabbed, I think I can let it slide.

What would I do to deserve that?

I can't really think of anything that would warrant that.

Glad we agree on that.

You planning to tell me what happened?

You already have the important parts.

"You got stabbed" was the only part I got. Though rumor has it you got stabbed by a little girl.

You are seriously blaming me for --

[pauses because wow breathing is hard when you have a hole in your chest]

-- getting stabbed? Seriously?

Dude, I didn't say I was blaming you. I was saying you got stabbed. Which you clearly did.

By a speedster.

Which would be hard to dodge.

It was. That's why I'm stuck here for at least a week.

...Then, you know, rest up and get better.

I'm not sick.

But you were totally stabbed.

It's okay, I'll make you food! Just sit and don't do anything.

I can't do anything. But don't let Cess cook.

I am perfectly capable of cooking, I'll have you know.

I didn't say you couldn't.

Then I can personally take charge of your meals. And Cess won't have to cook.

I didn't mean me! I meant everyone else.

[sorry bro did you say something I stopped paying attention]

Shhhhh it's okay, I'll take care of everything.

Oh God. Why.

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